Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Sounds of 2015///

Lemme recap the tracks I frequented this year.

January / February:

I had all the Tommy Boy mixes on rotation...those are big complications of discotec Classics....

I only move for money - Xalan
Electric Dredd 

That sorta thing.... just to fill on spaces of time where shuffling wasn't an option. Solid dance beats.

March / Summer

Black Devil Disco Club
Sally Shapiro
Spandau Ballet
The Jacka
Skinny Puppy
Loose Shus

For some reason because of my dating situation I was feeling a bit noire. I think it's a handy to have Satan's playlist at your disposal in moments of crisis. God/the Devil seem to have a working relationship that is easy to see.

October /November - December

Tesla Boy
Neon Indian
Pengus + Perfect Science
The Satin Jackets
Body Count
Kool Keith
Sunglasses Kid
Magic Machines

Im sure i could write more here with some time to recount deeply. It was largely because of Tesla Boy's radio show that I caught wind of so many other tracks.
I recall this was a time of jet set travel, drive and flights. The modern stylings of pengus put me through several terminal and gate entries. I felt like an astronaut the whole time. Satin Jackets where the melancholic bittersweet tones that brought me back to ground level and so on.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Styling the morning.

He looked down at the ghastly state of his toenails. He looked further to the soles of his bare feet. None of it was looking particularly hot.

The tension registered in his shoulders.

Jessi could see his refrain. A common one.

"I guess you just make everything a matter of introspection." She said, breaking the brief silence.

"Well, that might be true, but we're all here on a physical level," he said, drawing his feet back into the covers. He didn't know she was awake. "We're not so far into the future that our minds do all the talking. Somewhere along the story, we have to walk the walk , just lookit' professional athletes. They move and think in a pretty proportionate amount. "

She rolled over and gave him a quick jab to the rib with her elbow. Cless could just barely register the gesture she was making. "but not always about themselves..." she said.

"That's what I'm saying, we're only humans". he said, now on all fours and beginning to dress in yesterday's garb. His empathetic systems were flaring. He had overstayed his welcome, at least in his mind.

"Where are you going?" She didn't look too concerned. She lit a cigarette and propped her pale neck with a watched wrist.

"Donut shop, I hear they also do beet juice. You gonna cruise?" He said, jacket collar popped.

She flipped back over so he couldn't see here face, lighting the last cigarette of her pack.

"Just get me something and bring it back....make it a bear-claw".

"Aww man," he thought. "i'm either seriously in the right place, or I've lost it..." , the tension curled to his neck again.

"Get outta here." she said, flipping over to see him off , and smiling an empty smile.

Monday, December 14, 2015

but later i'd feel nothing.

The clamor of the hour was in full attendance. We're in the thick of it. We see a team or mass move with perastalic determination and laser focus on one common outcome.

We find the scope of the human cellular function exposed in poetic (sometimes horrifying) motion.

Cless would find himself wedged between his senior counterparts and fledgling inductees to the organization. It's a common and juicy mix.

Tempo is balanced and style is the butter on the toast of the evening.

Every now and then we get a glimpse of genius.

The duress of the night winding down is an abstract feeling. Every time he glimpses back at clock counting down , he gets a little shock in his nervous system .

So when he gets a compliment , it pulls and jars him back to dilation.

How could someone say something like "I'm not as gifted in plating as you..."? These sort of sentiments make even most worn walls feel new. ITs enough to put a lump in your throat even in a terse setting....

And then he feels gratitude for these highs and lows. Thankful that the story is still in motion and the show is more interesting that he would have previously conceived.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Well, his plan had been to turn in early , that night anyway. But wayward messages will entice...
"Hey, we're inside, where are you?", Feb asked
"Just got in , where are you??" Cless barked back into his phone.

Agreeing to not drink beer, this ought to be a quick meeting of the minds.

They ran into each other near the restrooms.

" are things lately"Feb asked
"You know, i might be alienating people at work." Cless said, " I don't know if I need to be friendlier because i happened to move in on their rhythm."
"Yeah...? And..?" Feb wasn't really an interviewer.

"well, its hard to say, but i don't really give a fuck about their situation. I do, but i need to care less...", he felt crass. "I've already seen the mountain top, I'm only free as long as i don't try and relive the ghost of memories past. Does that make sense?"

"You're like...'do whatever you want'"
"Yeah, especially when its the kids getting familiar..." he pretended to elevate himself. Always the meekster.

"hey we're going back to Big should go," Feb insists
"nah, i'm living just over that away, its going to be a restful and relaxed sleep tonight"
Ari , Feb's girlfriend stomped in
"Why? cmon, just for a bit man, just for a bit...we've got a cab coming"

"Naw, I'm just going to sleep" Cless professes
"Ah just for a bit dude, don't be rude. cmon'"

Cless propped his arms behind the girls as they drove away.
"Wow, I'm actually really glad i ran into you guys"

"We're glad we ran into you..."

Back at Blue

Cless had been hoping to at least bypass the night's pleasure's where booze was concerned. He'd had a  late night/early morning combo already, but a single cocktail couldn't hurt. However, it was not to be...his fidings only yielded some sweet vermouth and a splash of tequila, not his usual.

He'd move towards mingling a bit more in that case.

Cless engaged a young lady -- host's girlfriend according to body language --  who'd proven excellent in conversation upon visits past. What had he to lose at this point?

"You must realize that people are trying to get a bit of your personality with that behavior" she said
"Yeah, i get that. I always take the right people with me", Cless said.
"No it's more than taking anyone where you're going, you are supposed to be enviting them to a slice of your life by sharing more of yourself with them." She said
"I'm not sure to what degree I can do that with anyway, we all have barriers. To others and ourselves", he said.
"You're so right, and that's what we're supposed to struggle with" she said. Cless felt better already.

He let her know about other fascinating relationships. How they would turn outsiders off.

"Well, yes, people need communication and when it becomes shorthand between you and a close friend, it makes them angry" she said
"i know, but its not selfish, right?" he wouldn't let on more about how the past skullduggery with his old chefs had landed them at opposite ends of the industry they ran.

She was saying the right words. Her voice swang upward and into his need for validation. Had he always maintained this sort of passive agression? Never one to turn down a good chat, Cless would let her pry and till the topsoil of how he ran things.

"Surely, you know that we wonder about each other to some degree. That's why you're here." she said
"yeah...thats right..." Cless was feeling aware of his inflation.

"People around you they must wonder how you got to where you are , not realizing that it just came so naturally to you".

Cless's jaw gaped for a bit. No one had ever said something that kind to him lately.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Is there another side to everything you do?

“What are the secrets of success?” she asked
‘Well that’s simple." he said , “Get up early, work hard, pursue the muse…”
“…Actually, I’m paraphrasing someone else who said that the last one is to 'find oil'
“oh, crude oil?” she asked.
“Maybe it was olive oil?” he said.

He put down his glass and cleared his throat. In a few hours, the sun would rise and another riotous weekday would have slipped through.

“This is the work, you have to work on yourself, too” he gleaned “holding the knife and getting the food out is just a small part of it….but the only part people would appreciate this year…”

She was tired of his endless waxing at this point. She was exhausted and couldn't bear stoking the flame of this endless jawing. There were plenty of other less conflicted ‘artists’ on the rove, couldn’t she have picked a more insecure one to get friendly with?

“well…can we agree at least forget about this for a few hours over some snuggles?”

He looked at this iphone, propped up by a sewn-together wrist. He could trim about four hours. there wasn’t going to be a trip to the gym this morning.

“only if you pee on me in the shower later….” 

Monday, November 23, 2015

How can i get on sooner?

I noticed that experience is proportionate to time and focus.

how can I boost past the current state of affairs I'm in ?

Are metropolitan environments the culminating engine driving humans?

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

well-  he has told me of the grace i lack,
clipped my wings,
but now my strength is coming back! 

her fire razed my paper bones!
but now she stands before me opening the buttons of her coat,

I find myself...
wrapped in the open arms of heaven...

Friday, November 6, 2015


Present and Correct

"God put this head of mine at rest towards romance,
For tis' neither worth the tyne, nor tears.

Insular environments might be up top,
From this heaven with which we three have wrought,

[Having been neither sold nor bought,
I've already reaped heart's sprout of unordered crop,]

Cravings are content,
Precedence we've got to invent "

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Despite mentally crippling rumination ....

We find that the 'soul' or 'ego' is plastic.
We see the projections of ourselves in others / their creations .

If there is a reason we (or Maybe just its me) are lucky enough to see the conditioning, refinement and, management of the soul through the senses....perhaps the souls is worth saving.

Seek redemptive capacities and enrich the field /  profess love/ gratitude .

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Lookit how I'm living

By the morning, their inhibitions had left. They'd driven halfway across the state on a whim.

What was most revealing perhaps? The indifference they felt toward each other, father and son.

banal discourse would follow. In the end, neither one could profess enrichment.

Where had they slipped?

Thursday, October 15, 2015

"sick wasted"

In the morning i dream of losing it all

in the afternoon i dream about driving, skating, hitting the beach, working

at night i dream about wine and fine foods.

to me, if i can attain a sustainable supply of red wine, butter, steak, fish, coconuts, music, and now perhaps some oil(s) - it feels like I'm at home.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

and to you!

Everything i dispose here seems to become my reality soon after.

sooooo.... lets take a moment to give thanks.

Thanks to my parents and their unwavering version of love and tolerance for my idiocy/naiveté
To my sister for cracking the lid on that new wave genre all those years ago. [could not have made it without it]
To my fucking car. That thing kills off road. Also, glad i never drove it into a lake like zach did with his 328i.
To my lithe and nimble physic. Being tanky is nice, but being a ninja has always been my aspiration.
To my handful of mentors. They boosted my technical prowess, my eye for aesthetic and, voice.
To being born during a technological head-boom. Very cool time to be alive and furthermore healthy.
To my mental facilities. I gotta keep going for all the folks i see that can't move/speak/hear/see.
To the perpetual state of battle. Sometimes i feel like I'm on easy street.
To the kitchen. I true microscope of human emotion, character, ethics.
To the drove of animals and plants I've eaten in a lifetime. All very tasty, a few rare ones not.
To youtube. I get all my best nostalgia there.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

This all ends...

with me on the Big Island, timing sushi, and looking into the sunset.

Love Don't Come Easy

Aer's  is watching a climatic sequence. The mixture of video and music are coming to a head. They are intesecting.

Aer's macBook dies.
Synced with the climax.

He searches in the blinding dark for the outlet, holding the AC in his right hand.
He finds the jack.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Almost cut my hair?

Yeah, no you didn't. Your hairs all nice and fluid, very mature.

You're having it sway in the wind and catch in a direction that suits the frontside move you're about to  stick. It's hiding your grimace/

You're riding away and it all seems nice and you can see that there's some momentum.

You can see that the pastry section is firing. Your G-2 is coming at the window with a tight blood-orange and ricotta. The red walnuts. The honey. The Bay. The crumble. The anise.

And these are just glimpses and visions of a future where the chaos is under-foot. You have the tools. Just keep building.

 and i'd say I'm my own girlfriend.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Only by purposeful abandonment of the past do you find the innovations of the future.


Thursday, June 11, 2015

Don't go back, but rather, up.

I get that hitting executive chiefdom in your mid-20's is unusual. Most of my piers are still tackling line cooking and sous-chef status. I don't want to go back to a particularly dead-end job , glorified baby-sitter status doesn't suit me (as a i can barely dress myself). However, i don't feel like i spent the last 7 years gathering these chops, only to toss them aside and to hit the corporate latter.

i am prepared once again to become a leader of others. It can't be that hard to ante-up one more time.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

ode to a Car

Through and through,
And once again,
the war machine sprung to life,
and everything is sand-stone inside you.

Do you have substance?
Battle to be humble.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Contrast bias

This is a permanent reminder here for myself. I know usually there ought to be a meme out there for it, but this'll do for our purposes.

I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for how blessed i am.

There's a sanity and purity to the personal boundaries I developed just by being a dunce. They kept me from following the path of the average white male and his habitual tendencies towards tyranny. It made sure that I aligned with companions who enrich the field. Best yet, it made me age slowly and with ease.

I always say its better to be an idiot than a slave.

Cool to dip the banana in that chocolate dip, but never leave it there permanently, so to speak.

Also found a remix of "julia's song" on Youtube. it's by "Deno". real excellent. My gift to my loyal following.