Is that what you wanted to hear?

Well, his plan had been to turn in early , that night anyway. But wayward messages will entice...
"Hey, we're inside, where are you?", Feb asked
"Just got in , where are you??" Cless barked back into his phone.

Agreeing to not drink beer, this ought to be a quick meeting of the minds.

They ran into each other near the restrooms.

"So...how are things lately"Feb asked
"You know, i might be alienating people at work." Cless said, " I don't know if I need to be friendlier because i happened to move in on their rhythm."
"Yeah...? And..?" Feb wasn't really an interviewer.

"well, its hard to say, but i don't really give a fuck about their situation. I do, but i need to care less...", he felt crass. "I've already seen the mountain top, I'm only free as long as i don't try and relive the ghost of memories past. Does that make sense?"

"You're like...'do whatever you want'"
"Yeah, especially when its the kids getting familiar..." he pretended to elevate himself. Always the meekster.

"hey we're going back to Big Blue...you should go," Feb insists
"nah, i'm living just over that away, its going to be a restful and relaxed sleep tonight"
Ari , Feb's girlfriend stomped in
"Why? cmon, just for a bit man, just for a bit...we've got a cab coming"

"Naw, I'm just going to sleep" Cless professes
"Ah just for a bit dude, don't be rude. cmon'"

Cless propped his arms behind the girls as they drove away.
"Wow, I'm actually really glad i ran into you guys"

"We're glad we ran into you..."

Back at Blue

Cless had been hoping to at least bypass the night's pleasure's where booze was concerned. He'd had a  late night/early morning combo already, but a single cocktail couldn't hurt. However, it was not to be...his fidings only yielded some sweet vermouth and a splash of tequila, not his usual.

He'd move towards mingling a bit more in that case.

Cless engaged a young lady -- host's girlfriend according to body language --  who'd proven excellent in conversation upon visits past. What had he to lose at this point?

"You must realize that people are trying to get a bit of your personality with that behavior" she said
"Yeah, i get that. I always take the right people with me", Cless said.
"No it's more than taking anyone where you're going, you are supposed to be enviting them to a slice of your life by sharing more of yourself with them." She said
"I'm not sure to what degree I can do that with anyway, we all have barriers. To others and ourselves", he said.
"You're so right, and that's what we're supposed to struggle with" she said. Cless felt better already.

He let her know about other fascinating relationships. How they would turn outsiders off.

"Well, yes, people need communication and when it becomes shorthand between you and a close friend, it makes them angry" she said
"i know, but its not selfish, right?" he wouldn't let on more about how the past skullduggery with his old chefs had landed them at opposite ends of the industry they ran.

She was saying the right words. Her voice swang upward and into his need for validation. Had he always maintained this sort of passive agression? Never one to turn down a good chat, Cless would let her pry and till the topsoil of how he ran things.

"Surely, you know that we wonder about each other to some degree. That's why you're here." she said
"yeah...thats right..." Cless was feeling aware of his inflation.

"People around you they must wonder how you got to where you are , not realizing that it just came so naturally to you".

Cless's jaw gaped for a bit. No one had ever said something that kind to him lately.

Is there another side to everything you do?

“What are the secrets of success?” she asked
‘Well that’s simple." he said , “Get up early, work hard, pursue the muse…”
“…Actually, I’m paraphrasing someone else who said that the last one is to 'find oil'”
“oh, crude oil?” she asked.
“Maybe it was olive oil?” he said.

He put down his glass and cleared his throat. In a few hours, the sun would rise and another riotous weekday would have slipped through.

“This is the work, you have to work on yourself, too” he gleaned “holding the knife and getting the food out is just a small part of it….but the only part people would appreciate this year…”

She was tired of his endless waxing at this point. She was exhausted and couldn't bear stoking the flame of this endless jawing. There were plenty of other less conflicted ‘artists’ on the rove, couldn’t she have picked a more insecure one to get friendly with?

“well…can we agree at least forget about this for a few hours over some snuggles?”

He looked at this iphone, propped up by a sewn-together wrist. He could trim about four hours. there wasn’t going to be a trip to the gym this morning.

“only if you pee on me in the shower later….” 

How can i get on sooner?

I noticed that experience is proportionate to time and focus.

how can I boost past the current state of affairs I'm in ?

Are metropolitan environments the culminating engine driving humans?

well-  he has told me of the grace i lack,

clipped my wings,

but now my strength is coming back! 

her fire razed my paper bones!

but now she stands before me opening the buttons of her coat,

I find myself...
wrapped in the open arms of heaven...

Yeeee

Present and Correct

"God put this head of mine at rest towards romance,
For tis' neither worth the tyne, nor tears.

Insular environments might be up top,
From this heaven with which we three have wrought,

[Having been neither sold nor bought,
I've already reaped heart's sprout of unordered crop,]

Cravings are content,
Precedence we've got to invent "

Despite mentally crippling rumination ....

We find that the 'soul' or 'ego' is plastic.
We see the projections of ourselves in others / their creations .

If there is a reason we (or Maybe just its me) are lucky enough to see the conditioning, refinement and, management of the soul through the senses....perhaps the souls is worth saving.

Seek redemptive capacities and enrich the field /  profess love/ gratitude .

Lookit how I'm living

By the morning, their inhibitions had left. They'd driven halfway across the state on a whim.



What was most revealing perhaps? The indifference they felt toward each other, father and son.


banal discourse would follow. In the end, neither one could profess enrichment.

Where had they slipped?